


Reaching an understanding

by mordredllewelynjones



Series: Nygmobblepot week 2018 [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Nygmobblepot Week 2018, One-Shot, Oneshot, Season/Series 04, attempted hurt/comfort, doesn't fit into canon storyline, mentioned suicidal thoughts, nygmobblepot week, set in gotham season 4, written by someon who hasn't watched season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 04:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14035974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mordredllewelynjones/pseuds/mordredllewelynjones
Summary: For Tumblr Nygmobblepot week 2018. Day 3 prompt: Hurt/comfort. (It's probably just pure angst though.)Set during season 4. After Oswald gets the Riddler to help him escape from Arkham Ed has a bone to pick with his former friend.Written by someone who hasn't watched season 4 so don't expect it to be accurate or fit into the season story line or anything.I haven't written this trope before plus I did this in less than an hour so ... yeah. :/TRIGGER WARNING: Contains mentions of suicidal thoughts and mentions of a suicide attempt.





	Reaching an understanding

"You used me!" Ed growled. It was a statement, not a question. After breaking Oswald out of prison they had made their way back to Van Dahl manor so that Penguin could get a change of clothes then begin to plan his next move. Oswald was stood in the doorway to his office, having just returned from shedding the grimy overalls he had been assigned at Arkham in favour of one of his usual pristine suits. He had known that Ed would at some point supress the 'Riddler persona' once more but he had hoped it wouldn't happen so soon.

It was true. He had used Ed but it was not something he was proud of. However, the times when he could admit his failings to Ed, had such times ever existed, had long since passed. Edward had made it abundantly clear how he felt towards Oswald and those feelings were far from friendly. That being the case, weakness was not a luxury Oswald could afford, least of all show.

"Yes, I did" he replied coldly, fixing Ed with a hard stare. "You used that letter to lure me to Arkham, fed we a whole load of lies just so that you could get to him" Edward continued furiously. Oswald wanted to deny it but he couldn't. In some ways Ed was totally right, in others he was woefully incorrect. There didn't seem to be any point in mentioning it however. To Oswald it seemed as though they were destined to forever play these roles. To be eternally at each others throats, lying to each other at every chance they got to try and stay one step ahead of one another. It was a situation which Oswald despised yet he knew better than to think that Ed would believe him if he said otherwise. 

"So? I doubt you came to visit me at Arkham because you felt sorry for me" Oswald replied, hands on hips "You want me dead, that much you have made perfectly obvious. I dare say that by your reasoning I deserve it. Whether you broke me out of Arkham because you intend to kill me I don't know and frankly I don't care either. If you were so easily distracted from whatever goal you had in mind by a bunch of pretty words then I guess that's your problem Ed, not mine." Ed glared at him. For Oswald, words had always been a powerful weapon and it was clear that his time in Arkham had not robbed him of the mastery of his craft. Little did Ed know that that was all it was, just words. 

"I was just a way for you to get to The Riddler, a pawn in your selfish little game of chess. You never stopped to consider how much damage you were doing, you never do. I've been trying for so long and so hard to banish him for good. Now look!" Ed cried furiously, then he sighed "What's the point? It's not like you could ever understand and even if you did you wouldn't care." I understand it better than you think, Oswald thought but he said nothing. He knew what it was like to want to be something different, to want to break free from the fear and anger that life in Gotham seemed to infect upon everyone. There had been times when he had wanted to leave, forget what he had become and make believe something new. He had nearly done so on several occasions yet he had learned the hard way that running away from the horrors of the pass, of who you truly were, accomplished nothing. It was by no means the same experience that Ed had struggled with. Despite his many misfortunes Oswald had always been fortunate enough to know his own mind and who he was. Poor Ed could not say the same. Never the less, despite their differences, both in situation and as people, they were unlikely to ever find someone else who understood them as well as they understood each other. A fact that Oswald had accepted much more readily than Edward.

Driven to the end of his tether by Oswald's apparent indifference Ed grabbed Oswald roughly by the collar and shook him forcefully. "How could you do this to me?!" he screamed, tears sparkling in his eyes and his whole body trembling in a sudden display of emotion that terrified Oswald. The confident and spiteful façade had shattered, revealing a broken version of the man he secretly still loved. "I didn't want to" he replied, realising that now was a time that warranted at least a shred of honesty "I was desperate. I had no other choice." "Don't lie to me again Oswald. As if there is anything on earth could possibly justify this!" Ed screamed, loosing what little remained of his self restraint.

His hand shot out, grabbing a pen from the near by desk and pressing it against Oswald's throat. To some this might seem like an insubstantial threat but both men knew just how fatal such an ordinary object could be when wielded with deadly force and accuracy. Oswald took a steadying breath, meeting Ed's eyes with difficulty. An attempt on his life he had expected but the amount of hurt in Ed's eyes and the way the betrayal seemed to be affecting him was something that Oswald hadn't been prepared for. It unnerved him too see his former friend shaken in this way. His unspoken questions were soon answered as Ed continued hysterically.

"Whenever I'm him I end up destroying everything and everyone I care about. He turns me into a monster. Well I can't live like that, not anymore. I'm never letting him hurting any of the people I love ever again, no matter what it takes. I would rather die than let him be in control! You know, I actually tried to do it, tried to kill him by killing myself. I had the rope around my neck, I would have jumped! After all that do you honestly think that anything could possibly excuse what you just did to me, what you put me through?!"

Oswald's heart shattered and all the air seemed to be sucked out of the room as the reality of what Ed had just told him sank in. The fact that he had come so close to losing Ed with out even knowing it terrified him and the fact that his actions were all but helping to make the situation worse felt akin to being stabbed in that heart. As far as Ed was concerned Oswald had been plagued with guilt, guilt that he had tried to ignore, from the moment he had ordered Isabella's break lines cut. First for betraying him, for breaking his heart and then for freezing him but this was more than he could stand. What had he done?!

"Oh Ed" Oswald cried and, pushing Edward's makeshift weapon out of his hand, he launched himself at Ed, hugging him tightly. Ed dissolved into gut wrenching sobs as he instinctively leant into the tight embrace, the need for comfort eclipsing the anger and confusion burning inside him. The ability to think clearly had left him, Oswald's touch was the only thing that was holding what little was left of him together. It was in that moment that he finally realised what it was that was hurting him the most.

"A part of me thought it was real" he choked, eyes screwed shut as he clung to Oswald with all his might "that you really cared. That you wanted to put the past behind us and start again." "It was real!" Oswald gasped, looking up into Ed's eyes and placing a hand tenderly on his cheek "I could have written anything in that letter, if conveying a secret message had been all I was trying to achieve it wouldn't have mattered what else I wrote. I meant every word I said and what's more I hated having to use you like that. Believe me Ed, if I had known then what I know now I never would have done it. I've never wanted you dead, not really. The last thing I want is for you to be driven into taking your own life because of me. I love you Ed." Tears were running down his face and his breathing was raggedy as he stared up at Edward pleadingly, begging him to believe him. 

Taking a step backwards from his former friend Ed tried to rearrange his thoughts, trying desperately to keep his overflowing emotions at bay whilst he made sense of what was happening. He wanted to believe Oswald but he couldn't, not quite. "If you love me then be honest with me" he replied quietly. Oswald didn't need to ask what it was that Edward was referring to. He took a deep breath, unsure how to begin.

"His name is Martin" he said finally "He has no parents, no friends, nothing. I'm all he's got. I swore to myself that I wouldn't get involved but when I saw how mean the other children were being to him, how much he needed a friend, I couldn't stop myself. I thought I could protect him but I was wrong. Sofia Falcone tried to use him against me, knowing that my heart has always been my greatest weakness. I faked Martin's death in an attempt to keep him safe but it turns out that she was one step ahead of me. She got to Zsasz and he delivered Martin to her, they've been using him against me ever since. If I don't rescue him then they will kill him and I can NOT let that happen. I wont let anyone else in my family die because of me! That's where you come in. I knew I didn't stand a chance of escaping and rescuing Martin alone but as soon as you came to visit me at Arkham I knew that there was one way that I could manage it and that way was through you. So I made a choice. You once said that love was about sacrifice, well I chose to sacrifice any remaining chances of a friendship with you in order to save Martin. Little did I know that I was actually sacrificing a lot more than that. It was a horrible decision to make and it broke my heart but I had to do it. I love you with all my heart Ed but Martin has to come first. I hope you can understand that. If not, then I guess there is nothing else I can say. Just believe me when I say that I am truly sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, that goes for before as well as now. I hope you know that."

There was a long silence as Ed struggled to come to terms with what he was feeling. There was a tiny part of him that remained suspicious, that doubted the sincerity of Oswald's words, but in all honesty Edward barely gave it a passing thought.  For the first time in what seemed like forever he felt the faint glimmer of hope burning inside him and right now that was exactly what he needed most in the world. For a long time, ever since he had finally accepted the truth to himself, he had thought he was crazy, crazy for loving a man he hated. For loving a man as dreadful as the Penguin, especially after everything that happened between them. Yet now all that seemed to fade away. He wasn't seeing a monster any more, he was seeing his friend and he realised in that instant that he never wanted to loose him again. Regardless of all their flaws and all the wrongs they had done to one another, they belonged together. Oswald had been right all along.

"I love you too Oswald" Ed murmured as he pulled Oswald into a tight embrace, nuzzling his face into the crook of Oswald's neck and breathing deeply. He chuckled softly and added "I was always secretly glad that you are so hard to kill. I didn't want to loose you." Oswald hugged him back and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, sighing quietly. He was shocked and confused but right now that didn't matter. Everything was going to be alright, they were going to be ok.

"Now I do believe we have a son to save" Ed said, smiling for what felt like the first time in years. Beaming Oswald grasped his hand and together they headed off into battle. Sofia wouldn't know what hit her.

                                                                               The End.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
